hey everyone out there. man days like today are the days that make everything worthwhile. i am so happy and so in love and everything is just going right. playing uo on an rp server named Mirrandis. Its kinda cool there. im like the first witch on the server and im starting the first coven there. blasting music and screaming to it at the top of my lungs with my baybe.

nothing much is going on atm. josh has school and i have... nothing to do in the least bit. making greens and corn bread for dinner tonight. josh took me to the dollar tree so i could get a few coloring books. im really hopeful about one of two jobs that i am going for. until then im also awaiting my transcripts. if i get the job i want i wont have much time for school though so ill most likely take the courses online. julie is being a lil pain. all she does is fly around now. i miss the days when i could take her out on my shoulder with me for walks and stuff... but now she gets to be able to fly instead. anyway its better she doesnt go outside... cali isnt particular to her breed. im getting a little tired of neopets but oh well. nothing much i can really do... jim is over today so that means no lineage, the mapper has disappeared so no Moore for the moment... so all ive got to play is poppit or neopets. rawr

today is another day. it went by rather quickly but i was kinda lonely too. josh had two really long classes today and i miss him!!! =( ah well maybe i will busy newayz. the father of a friend of josh's may be calling me in for a receptionist job!!! it would be easy work and decent pay!!! the only problem would be to get there everyday. but josh may be taking a job there soon maybe even over the summer so then we could go to work together!!! im crossing my fingers on this job!!! even if i may have to put off graduating again... or maybe it would take me longer since i wouldnt have all night to take classes... but a job like this i could work for years and years. plus i may not be getting my checks after june (more likely than not) so i really need to do some thinking because i dont want to become a financial burder to josh.pem.

got a lot of hopes today. did a bunch with the neopets already and im dying to play lin with my love. im curious how everyone in new york is doing. i must admit it though... i dont miss new york as much nemore... just certain things bug me... like that cali doesnt have a ball for new years! but a lot of other things make me just like cali more. for one and for mostly josh. today is cleaning day... bleh. but after we clean and go for our walk its all gaming until its 6pm!!! my cold is startin to feel better... maybe well do some reading tonight? quit smoking since thursday night at 9pm. thats three days... today is gonna hurt when all the nictoine is out of my system...pem

january 13... ive been here about 6 months and in 6 months that makes a year. i spent the holidays with josh's family in vegas. we watched the ball drop in new york and then we looked at fireworks on the strip for the west coast new years. yeah they dont have a ball or nothing! but i think im starting to get used to it out here... im going back to school to finish my highschool diploma. im trying for the third time to quit smoking. i started yesterday around... 9pm. i have a bad chest cold but ive been managing. julie is having mood swings. sometimes shes just the cutest lil birdie and other times shes so vicious! kinda how Dieno used to be. My ex has been contacting me. I dont know why he talks to me i mean it seems all i do is piss him off. he keeps loggin out while we are in the middle of talking either because i dont wanna talk on the phone or something like that. i dont wish him harm in fact i thought he would have forgotten about me by now considering hes the one who originally dumped me. but it appears he hasnt and i dont know what to do. i like my new life and i dont think ill be going to new york anytime soon. Josh and I are going back on walks again to help me quit smoking and we read together and play so many things. somehow i just get the feeling he isnt as interested in me anymore. i know he loves me but i mean interested in me. who knows i could just be down in the dumps from being sick all week.

i cant believe its going to be christmas soon... so much has happened and yet so little at the same time. i still havent found a job out here but josh is being really supportive. im hoping to enroll in school for the second half of the year. we are comming up on our 6 month anniversary already!!!! and i am working on an uo rp shard called Moore. Its due to open in june of 2005. Julie is still well although sometimes her and josh dont really get along. A good friend of mine seems to be comming out of her depression so I am happy for that. And i reconnected with an old friend of mine as well. I will be spending christmas in vegas so much of some things and so little of others.

not much has happened... josh is a little sick but im nursing him back to health. jim is still in an iffy state. cory and brandon still dont have their accounts back  hehe well my account their items... playing a game called eve with josh. i still get a little homesick... but... i like it better here... i just need to learn my way around is all... and ill feel better. i dont like not knowing where i am half the time... its an odd feeling... everything has this... surreal theme. its all too good to be true. im just waiting for the shoe to drop.

well im in that icky period with josh between 2 and 3 months. i have something nice planned to give him for our three month anniversary. i know that i never did follow those things... but this time id like to. even though we are on shaky ground... and to tell you the truth the idea of a day without him sounds nice right about now... i hope it works out in the end. i dont want to go to bed angry yet. w/e happens happens though right? i love him. i know that much, but im through playing a martyr. now i have to worry about being too proud.

Hope dangles on a string

Like slow spinning redemption

Winding in and winding out

The shine of which has caught my eye

 

And roped me in

So mesmerizing, so hypnotizing

I am captivated

 

I am Vindicated

I am selfish

I am wrong

I am right

I swear I'm right

I swear I knew it all along

 

And I am flawed

But I am cleaning up so well

I am seeing in me now the things you swore you saw yourself

 

So clear

Like the diamond in your ring

Cut to mirror your intentions

Oversized and Overwhelmed

The shine of which has caught my eye

 

And rendered me

So isolated, so motivated

I am certain now that

 

I am Vindicated

I am selfish

I am wrong

I am right

I swear I'm right

I swear I knew it all along

 

And I am flawed

But I am cleaning up so well

I am seeing in me now the things you swore you saw yourself

 

So turn up the corners of your lips

Part them and feel my finger tips

Trace the moment, fall forever

Defense is paper thin

Just one touch and I'd be in

Too deep now to ever swim against the current

So let me slip away

So let me slip away

So let me slip away

So let me slip against the current

So let me slip away

So let me slip away

So let me slip away

So let me slip against the current

So let me slip away

 

Vindicated

I am selfish

I am wrong

I am right

I swear I'm right

I swear I knew it all along

 

And I am flawed

But I am cleaning up so well

I am seeing in me now the things you swore you saw yourself

 

Slight hope

It dangles on a string

Like slow spinning redemption....

 

- Vindication

Three Day Grace

 

please dont ever change

ok well the whole vacation thing is over now. we are back at josh's mom's house. tomorrow i got to go look for a job, open a bank account at Washington Mutual, and call the DMV to see what i would have to do about getting my license out here since i lost my new york permit in the move. i also have to fax a copy of my cell phone bill to get my gym membership cancelled. i spoke to my dad on the car and he said he would be able to help me out with it... now lets see what actually happens. ummmm thats about it atm... had to bring calli back to cory's house cause josh's mom is allergic i still got julie with me though. i need job.....