March 15, 2006
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ok to hell with everything im going back to fasting again... im not gonna break fast until joshs birthday on the 24th of march. im so tired and zapped wound up smoking again today and binging. i feel so sick and so tired and i just dont understand why. i think i am going to take a little nap until josh gets home then im gonna clean and help him do his project... i hope it works... i need some release from all this i need to relax im too stressed i can feel it in my soul! god i hate myself so much right now. i need to be stronger. im so sick of everything. im so depressed i havent been doing the cleaning or nothing im not even sure i took a shower yesterday. what is wrong with me? this depression just wont shake. normally after a fast i feel better and my depression subsides... and its not happening this time. ive been depressed straight for a few months i need it to all stop. i need help.
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