Never again am I waiting up for anyone. Josh's sister wanted to talk to him and even though we had stuff to do today I mean Josh don't see his sister everyday! So I stayed up with him to keep him company and make sure we didn't go to bed too late. It was 3am when she walked in and she was still so faded she couldn't talk for shit. So... there goes my night and day. Thanks dear! not

Wow another couple of days and I am gonna see Yerdz! I can't believe it. Yerdz if you read this you need to tell me if you want hash weed or medicinal. I dunno the medicinal kinda gives me a happy rush. Also another flaw in the plan, Josh's mom will be home monday so we wont get to lounge around all day and smoke... we will have to take the car and go riding around all day and smoke! MWHAHAHAHAH yeah w/e Oh and Josh said yes to the summer vaca in Armenia! I knew he wouldn't say no to me =) So right after the wedding I will start planning... shit the rings... shit shit shit! I gotta get my ass in gear and stop spending extra money VERY SERIOUSLY! I don't think I will be able to buy weed for the next couple of months... that is gonna suck! Oh well it will be easier to loose weight without the munchies!

Yesterday was a bad day. Absolutely nothing got done on my list of things to get done, because Josh wouldn't get his lazy ass out of bed. He claims he doesn't remember that morning which isn't so hard to believe since he moves (like sits up) and talks in his sleep. But by the time he got up and took a shower I was so upset that it didn't do much good. After fighting for a while I smoked 3 bowls of hash weed... wow I couldn't even stand straight but it helped big time. I was able to calm down and talk to him clearly about what was upsetting me and it helped me to get some dreamless sleep. I think that is what I like most about smoke! The dreamless sleeps. I just dont sleep well when I have nightmares, even if I sleep through them without waking. Normally once I have one nightmare, the rest of the night is all nightmares! And the nightmares aren't of demons and stuff, it is about realistic situations that could happen that bring up my greatest fears and forces me to realize them. I have been told that is part of depression, it definitely hurts my mood. I don't understand it though, you would think if you where living out whatever upsets you in your sleep, that you would be refreshed when you woke up. That by facing them in dreams it wouldn't keep them bottled up inside you. That's not true for me though.