Talk about ups and downs. Between my mood swings and some very stupid things Josh has done I am a total wreck! Not as big a wreck he will be though if he tries that again. He is being a good man servant now, but we'll just have to wait and see.

Got to hang out with our friend Justin today. That was cool hadn't seen him for a couple of days. We watched the movie Troy together. It was really great! Yeah, I know its a little late to give a movie review on it but oh well. We were supposed to have a barbecue together, but I am still feeling a little weak and sick so I didn't want to go out and make myself worse. So hopefully we'll do that Sunday.

Wowwww cleaning is lots of hard work! Spent 7 hours cleaning out the kitchen, you know like spring cleaning and I am still not done. Josh helped me of course. I really worked my fingers to bone. They still hurt! And there is still plenty to do! I can see myself cleaning all week and still not finishing!!!

Josh is so sweet and patient with me. I have been in a kind of rut lately. Kinda down and super irritable and feeling sick all the time definitely didn't help. I have been feeling that way for almost three weeks now. I think I am starting to come around though and Josh's way with me definitely helped. Hes been really understanding through it all, not that he doesn't make me want to choke him! But I suppose thats part of being a couple, eh? Yeah the past couple of weeks have been kinda sucky. I couldn't seem to get interested in doing anything anymore. Gaming, Hanging out, Smoking, watching tv, and definitely not anything that required any kind of movement/ work. Even though I am still kinda bored with most things, I at least am doing the cleaning again. Like I am starting to feel I have energy again. Now I need to get things done before I fall back into a rut again. Its like a never ending cycle.

Now I had a list around here somewhere... of all the things that had to get done... I think I threw it at josh at one point in the past three weeks... 

I feel like a turtle stuck in the middle of hot topic. There is so much going on, things that need to be done and I am just sitting there doing nothing. Money is definitely a factor. I hate all the ifs of waiting on money to come in. It is so much different when you have it just sitting there. Thats what Josh and I gotta do. We gonna start a little nest egg together for when we move out and all that. Have something to fall back on. When we are on our own and with children we cant just live from check to check, or at least its not smart to do if you can avoid it.

You know what I really love about josh? How in tune we are with eachother. We both like the same games, the same tv shows, the same pastimes. You would think it would get boring but its just so nice and cozy. We are always on the same wavelength, well except when its time to clean! Aside from that though, we never have to worry about pleasing eachother. It just comes so naturally.

Alright, well josh is off on another one of his binges where he goes and learns something new. He has made a Lineage 2 server now. It is going to be an rp shard (like our uo shard is gonna be) but of course since we just started its gonna be very very buggy. He is probably gonna wind up having to learn java to see the extent of what scripting can be done. At the moment we dont even have a website up or forums up for that matter. Just some friends together on the shard. Eventually though you will have to apply to get in, just like uo rp shards. Just like with uo, if anyone is interested I can get you in game without having to pay for anything since its a free private server.

I got the biggest headache today. I am so tired. Justin came over and hung out for a bit it was cool, although no cleaning got done yet again. It was fun though! I can't wait for josh to finish transferring the Lin server to the main comp for less lag. I am dying to play again. On one hand its weird cause it isn't the ncsoft server, on the other... i dont have to worry about dicks. And since it is roleplaying it should be even more fun. Not just grinding and trying to get the best gear.

Pain. Much Much Pain. I hate men, I hate kids, I hate being able to have kids. HATE. PAIN. ugggh whats the point? ::growls and waits for josh to take care of her::

Haven't done much today, but then again neither would you! I am playing on the uo roleplay shard again though, called Mirrandis. The admin seems to be a hardass but then again I think I am the only admin who isnt... (josh included) Anyone who wants to come play sometime just has to let me know! I'll help set you up. It doesn't cost anything to play. It's something to pass the time.

yesterday josh and i went to venice beach. we went with some people. wasn't as fun as when we went by ourselves but we did have fun. wasn't like the people we were with weren't funny and stuff. just i kept worrying they where bored. its easier when its just josh and me. we know what the other likes and its normally the same thing. we got a pair of dog tags each and swapped one. he also bought me two small pipes, for when i need to be more discreet, also for incase they get broken being carried around. id be so sad if my main pipe broke. i am just gonna leave that one home for now on. its even been dropped on the concrete ground and nothing happened to it. i dont want to take the risk again.

damn stupid flooble. gives me so many problems, i do not know why i even bother with the dang thing! i have been so blah lately and feeling sick and down. I am thinking about getting another tattoo but i dunno. josh likes that we only have our tattoos so they are even more special. i was going to get a japanese character tattooed on the top of my foot. they got some pretty funny ones. im feeling so sick today and i just cant shake it. it wont go away. grrrrrr must sleep....