August 17, 2005
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It was Josh's first day of school! I was so lonely without him. Talking to Gabe was great though and made me feel a lot better. I feel bad for Josh though... he has to deal with this guy he can't stand cause they have the first two classes together. They -used- to be friends, but then he pissed off Josh because of what a slob and how rude he is. Not to mention when he used to try to talk about me behind my back thinking Josh wasn't going to tell me. At first I felt bad for the guy cause he seemed jealous that Josh rather spend time with me now instead of him, but then he would go and do things like that. I mean if he is jealous cause Josh and I are best friends... what would make him think Josh doesn't tell me everything? Josh already promised me that I wouldn't have to see him, he isn't allowed over the house so at least I don't have to worry about that! But I still feel bad for Josh. He isn't as cold as I am. If he was he probably wouldn't be bothered by the guy anymore but see he has a heart. The guy is just too dumb to catch on to Josh's hints. On a good note though Josh has to go to the museum for three of his classes so he told me we would make dates of it. I can't wait to see what the museums out here look like. Out here according to Josh you -have- to pay to get in. Unlike in New York where you can go in for free and they ask for a donation. Oh well, hopefully it is worth it. Museum of Natural History in Manhattan definitely was.
This Saturday Josh and I are gonna go to a barbecue at his father's house. It isn't exactly my ideal way to spend a Saturday but it is his father's big party of the year so oh well. I just keep remembering Josh's step-mom asking me and Josh to make out in front of her and it makes me feel weird. Just seeing her at all is gonna be kinda weird. I haven't seen her since Josh and I where there last and her and Josh's dad where fighting.
I gotta go to the doctor for my prescription.
I really don't wanna goooooo. I hate seeing doctors. They always ask me the same questions and I always gotta repeat the same stuff over and over. I have never found a good doctor that I trusted. A friend is suggesting this guy though and I have never tried doing something like that before so hopefully it will work out better this time around. The doctor is pretty close by to where I live too so thats real good.
I do not know what is wrong with me. I have gotten two hours worth of sleep in the past two days. I just can't seem to settle down and sleep. And of course when I feel like I am ready to sleep a little something will come up that I can't sleep. I haven't been taking anything or eating sweets before bed or anything. I even drink a glass of milk at night to try to get me to sleep. This morning when I got up to have breakfast with Josh I felt like a complete zombie. I could barely keep my head from landing in the bowl of cereal. Keeping this in mind, as soon as he leaves and I go to lie down again.... nothing. I couldn't sleep. I don't like this I can't go a third day like this. It isn't even like im busy or something so that I keep awake like that. I don't do much so I am just sitting around suffering. >.<
We got our mini cabinet and altar in the mail today!!! It is absolutely perfect for the handfasting! The altar set itself is so beautiful! And I got it soooooo cheap off of ebay. http://www.ladyhawkstreasures.com/moongoddessset.jpg I have it set up in the room right now! I don't know if that is so wise cause I don't want to freak out Josh's mom, but I love it so much I don't want to just pack it away in the closet.
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